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May 20 2018

edithsghosts:

“Regardless of my transient joys, I am never free of a feeling of melancholy which somehow forms the base of my heart.”

— Chopin, Quoted in Edward N. Waters, Frederic Chopin (via perseaphonie)

bandana-roja:

So between the white woman who called the cops on a black family having a BBQ in a park, the white man threatening to call ICE in nyc on Latina women for speaking Spanish, and a white woman literally yelling for the cops while screaming “gun!” on a black man for making a u turn in their neighborhood should educate us all that white people are realizing that institutional racism is real but they are using it for their own white supremacist social benefit.

They are calling for the authorities knowing that the cops will take their side and will either arrest or murder people of color for simply being seen or heard.

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arabella-31:

This same title has been used 8 times since 2014.

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atonguetiedwriter:

thewinterotter:

constant-instigator:

audsbot:

thewinterotter:

dominawritesthings:

rainnecassidy:

sinfullucifer:

the-negotiator:

sinfullucifer:

generallyhuxurious:

sinfullucifer:

tinfoil-on-the-windows:

sinfullucifer:

tinfoil-on-the-windows:

sinfullucifer:

actualtrashbag:

sinfullucifer:

so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count

holy f uck jane

its a serious question

well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.

new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing

no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.

you gotta digest it.

so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?

huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?

Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”

“you what now”

i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic

now that u said it im really surprised as well

what the fuck did i just read

Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?

I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.

I’m not convinced by this, actually!

Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”

But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:

  • “I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”
  • “You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”
  • “You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”

Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.


The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.

(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)


Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.

And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”

Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years. 

Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”

“you what now”

This is my favorite act of intellectual bugfuckery on this entire website, when I die I want someone to print this out and place it in my grave with me so I can cherish it forever.

@thebibliosphere

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lieutenant-sapphic:

loloftheday:

Fucking dropped him…

May 07 2018

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hitmewithcute:

Look at this lizard. Absolute unit.

May 02 2018

May 01 2018

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retroserpents:

kissmyafropuff:

angel–pussy:

cap-kira:

thedarkestlove:

Everytime you see this little boy with money, reblog it. Money will come your way ☺️

These money things work every single time

Last time that Jackie Chan one brought me $50. Taking no chances.

ima broke bitch i NEED this

skullvis:

Me, trying to find ways to connect my favorite song’s lyrics to whatever characters I’m currently obsessed with:

140-cloves-of-garlic:

vicioussuggestion:

i love the phrase “inner demons”! its so fucking funny. like yeah i was traumatized and now i got dozens of mean little bastards running around in my brain! i contain a multitude of evil spirits. i was emotionally damaged at one point and now im possessed

I’m just 17 inner demons in a trench coat.

April 30 2018

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shortstack76:

sixpenceee:

The dominant female of a clan of Spotted hyaenas. Picture credit goes to Christopher Courteau. @sixpenceee

Damn nature you scary!

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